#it's like when ppl drink in front of you and then they apologise for being drunk

[mchiti]

If you're Muslim, how annoying is this: people talking about some serious, progressive stuff and then stopping mid sentence bc they realise you're Muslim and they think they're offending you? Like two friends of my friend today were talking about an lgbtq+ night event on friday and then stopped and looked at me and I was like??? sis I want to come too

[c4teyezz]

my fav jjk men with babies lol

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my fav jjk men x afab!reader

i kept the baby gender neutral for yall in case, i dont want ppl coming to me like “nO hE wOulD dEfinEtly hAve a-“ shut.

note: on nanamis part it mentions reader being pregnant 🤰

characters: gojo saturo, geto suguru, sukuna ryomen, higuruma hiromi, nanami kento, kusakabe atsuya, toji fushiguro

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Gojo Saturo

- spoils the baby 24/7 and the things the baby has are the best of the best, the price doesnt matter to him

- idk why but he likes taking a big whiff of the babies hair then going like “ahhhh!” after and then kissing their scalp

“look babe i just bought some new clothes for our little one” gojo said smiling up at you as you entered the room. gojo is sitting on the foam rug thing with the baby laying down on it

gojo held up the baby carefully while supporting their neck at the same time to show you their fit. “thats so cute!” you responded then sitting down with him, you look at the tags that gojo ripped out from the clothes “saturo what did i say abt rubbish- $200!? WE SHOULD BE USING THAT MONEY FOR THEIR FOOD”

Geto Suguru

- i feel like hes gonna be a fairly strict but not too strict of a father

- he loveeessss wrapping them up in his robes, hugging/carrying them around like that wherever he goes in the house

“ah-! let go of my hair!” suguru demanded but not doing anything to stop it, the baby just giggles at their fathers reaction not knowing that their lowkey hurting their dad bc obviously theyre just a baby…

you take a quick pic of the sight thats in front of you, giggling along with your baby

“damn this thing is strong!” he said

“dont call your kid a thing!”

Sukuna Ryomen

- he mostly watches you take care of “the brat” he calls them, but is willing to help as long as you give him clear instructions on what the hell hes supposed to do with “it”

- i can see him holding his kid upside down with their legs when theyre like 6 or something and sometimes he drops them on purpose before quickly and successfully catching them, he has no intentions of hurting them, hes mostly doing it to fuck with you. i mean he made the kid laugh so lol

“what the fuck its crying” he pointed out to you as you rock the baby gently in your arms

“yeah i can see that… and stop calling them ‘it’, theyre not some sort of rare space specimen”

Higuruma Hiromi

- even tho in the manga hes portrayed as the classic “no humor, cold, tired man in a suit” kind of guy, i honestly dont think hes just that, hes just like that in professional settings and when things are serious. i can see him make light jokes, like he did with itadori, so he’d definitely do the same with his baby

- he likes gently scratching the babys back, as he knows its relaxing i mean who doesnt like a good scratch on the back sometimes. he doesnt mind when the baby starts fiddling with his tie, but when the baby chews on if he definitely gets a bit grossed out

“bah!” hiromi jokingly surprised the baby which made the baby flinch and cry at their father, hiromi laughed at the baby’s raction “sorry” Hiromi gently apologised while smiling at them, then went back to scare them one more time by covering his face then quickly uncovering his face “boo!”

this time the baby laughed with their father and you recorded the fun moment

(this is also inspired by a reel i saw on instagram, it was so cute 😭)

Nanami Kento

- HANDS DOWN THE BEST FATHER DUH WTF??? do we even have to argue???? since the baby hes been cutting his alcohol drinking as he doesnt want the baby’s sensitive lungs to suffer from the smell. he also lovessssss skin to skin, when the baby popped out and it was his turn to hold the baby in his bare chest, he was over the moonnnnn

- ngl he would mostly take care of the baby more than you, his excuse is since you carried the baby for 9 months, so its his job to support and deal with the baby most of the time mwah mwah

you stare at him feeding your baby their bottle, whose also safely tucked in his loving arms

“kento can i feed them now?” you asked him

“go rest honey, you deserve it” he responded, kissing you on the forehead

“thats my baby youre hogging!”

Kusakabe atsuya

- omg he likes making the baby dance, the baby cant walk yet, so he’d hold them up and make them look like theyre dancing by making them look like their doing that default baby dance toddlers do or gently swing them side to side

- loves placing them on his chest as they sleep as he fiddles with their tiny hand. also he strictly calls them by their shorter version of their name or a random nickname that suits them

“mmph! stop trying to grab my lolly!” atsuya told the baby as it tried reaching for it, eventually the baby caught the stick of the lollipop and forced it out of their dads mouth and putting it into theirs

“hehe gross”

fushiguro toji

- he plays with them by making them pretend that theyre boxing with their hands

- naps naps napsssssss, he always puts them on his chest so that they can nap together on the couch. but sometimes when toji snores, he lets out a loud snore which scares the baby into waking up crying lmfaoooooooo

“hell nah”

“toji just wipe their ass already, im trying to show you how change their diaper”

“fucking hell…” toji muttered as he slowly lifts the baby by their legs

okay maybe hes not the best when it comes to helping sometimes, but at least hes willing to try

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maayong gabii lahat!!! (good evening everyone!!!)

hehe i just wanna say thank you guys for the likes, reblogs, comments, and followers so far :))))

damo nga salamatttt (thank you so muchhhh)

[floweryrkive]

honestly, i think cancelling yunjin is so stupid. it's one cup of starbucks.. and buying/drinking starbucks or mcdonalds or anything does not necessarily mean that the person who bought it supports israel. You call her ignorant when ur literally cancelling people over food and other stupid stuff."oh but they support israel!" let me ask you something, is boycotting actually doing something? Theres little evidence on how boycotting has affected anything, and the only thing thats happening is annoying people. I feel bad for the people, and i dont support israel, but its so fucking annoying seeing this happen. Grow up. ive literally seen ppl who supported palestine start hating this whole thing bc of the countless petty and annoying things.

i was thinking about whether i should answer this or delete this because i knew there was going to be someone who would say this exact stuff at one point after i would say i won't be writing for yunjin for now.

let's break it down :

I am NOT cancelling her, nor have i mentioned anywhere that she should be cancelled ( i think cancel culture is a whole lot of toxicity which is another topic) I am merely disappointed in her actions because she has faced this situation before and tell me one thing, if she had faced this same thing before and that time she responded accordingly ( which was deleting the post and apologising actually) would she not know how this would affect her/look abt her viewpoints? Also the fact that Jake from Enhypen ( her co-worker mind you.) apologised immediately after being called out for consuming st@rbucks on live is saying a lot too isn't it?

One starbucks...i can't even think of how stupid this statement is. She's a CELEBRITY. Her influence matters! Why do you think they do advertisements and shit with them?!

It's not just food! It's multinational companies directly funding these terrorist groups that commit genocides! st@rbucks and mcdon@lds are apart of these MNCS! And before you come and say the SK starbucks is not associated with the American one, they are still paying for using the brand name.

No one's claiming she's a zi0nist, but considering the fact that there's literally a hybe boycott going on rn due to them working with 🛵( a very raging zion!st who has literal proof of his support of isr@el as well as messaging pro-palestine armys is very telling) her still buying is obviously going to be showing a lot about her ignorance ???

and don't get me started on boycotting not working because if you lookup on twitter there's enough proof that these companies are pulling strings to literally gain sales that are dropping drastically!

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the main issue comes when this is turned into a fuckass fanwar instead of simply calling these idols out for consuming these products. stop defending her actions when clearly she is aware of everything going on ( she's literally the most online member in lesserafim, she has a coworker who apologised for consuming st@rbucks, there's trucks that are in front of that damn hybe building to urge them to stop working with 🛵) and the people you're talking abt hating this thing are hating it because fans like you are being so tone deaf and blindly defending these idols, turning this into fanwars!

all you had to do was search abt this instead of blindly accepting her actions but instead you choose to come into my inbox telling me to grow up.

i don't mean any malice or hate towards you, but please, look into why exactly people are calling her out, don't lose your moral sense over this. i hope you are able to see the issue soon enough. have a good day.

[oofluc]

⌠ AXEL AURIANT, 20, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, LUC MONTAGNIER! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT + KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( dried blood on busted knuckles, forced smiles and sweat drenched after training ). when it’s the (virgo)’s birthday on 09/17/1999, they always request their SEARED SCALLOPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ ooc mochi, 23, she/her, gmt ⍀  

slight warning to those who saw i originally planned him to be an anxious soft boi … i was wrong also there is a suicide mention & some subtle child abuse maybe... plus it’s kind of long ? and an incoherent mess but whatever !! plotting is welcome either on tumblr or on discord which you can find me at mochi#7066 !! his pinterest is here yes i went overboard with sections esp bc im gonna add more hdjf !! stats here and a full connection page here with most stuff i have so far ! @gallagherintro​

PARALLELS

fred jones | scooby doo

stefan salvatore | the vampire diaries

hatsuharu sohma | fruits basket

noatak | avatar: the legend of korra

FAMILY

phillipe montagnier | 54

ameline montagnier | 46

marc montagnier | ✝

luc montagnier | 20

charles montagnier | 18

elias montagnier | 18

HISTORY

the montagnier family was originally located in the south of france until luc’s grandfather moved them to quebec. their empire was in manufacturing all kinds of weaponry and selling them to governments and other spy families and organisations. if you needed something a bit obscure or unique, this was the family you'd come to.

luc grew up in a fairly isolated countryside area in a family of four brothers who he loved for the first few years of his life. first was marc, shy and respectful, luc himself two years behind, and then another two years graced the family with twins; charles and elias who lived by their own rules. marc and luc had always been close, marc was the best big brother possible and luc loved him a lot.

eventually after being pitted and forced to compete against each other for so long, it got quite personal and their bonds started being tested. their mother turned a blind eye to their father's borderline abusive methods when luc overtook his older brother in their father’s tests and training. bruises and broken bones were only natural in training so there wasn't much she could say even if she wanted to.

from as long as he could remember, he'd been firing guns. there was a shooting range on their estate and they went on hunting trips, too. his dad often had him show customers the potential of their weaponry and so he'd always been thrusted into that life whether he wanted a say or not. it’s been clear since he was around fourteen that if anyone was taking over the family business it'd be him, not his older brother, marc.

this definitely caused somewhat of a rift between him and marc, as he'd end up getting much harsher punishments when luc would disarm or ground him.

luckily for luc, he did enjoy fighting and was exceptionally gifted in the life planned out for him. he was always the most determined to gain their father's approval, which definitely showed in their results and how obedient he was in front of the man. when he finally got what he wanted, he didn't quite expect it to mean what it did. it was rare but every now and then he would kill for his dad. whether it was someone who betrayed the family or a potential threat to their business, if his dad told him to, he would, no questions asked. it was during this time he was more excluded from training with his brothers since he would be with his dad instead.

SUICIDE TW !!!!!!

his oldest brother marc was sent to blackthorne once he was eighteen and ended up committing suicide at the end of his second year, with luc set to follow the next year. this news was shocking for the montagnier family as luc's father was bitterly embarrassed and disappointed by his firstborns' death, wanting to cover it up as a murder so it couldn't be tied to the family name with such dishonour. it quickly created a divide as charles and elias defended marc's actions and revealed he'd been struggling with depression for the majority of his life, much like they did, which was all unknown to luc, who, for the first time, felt the repercussions of his father's favouritism. he had a new found rebellion against him that was violent with them going at each other's throats for the foreseeable future. luc ended up avoiding his place at blackthorne in hopes to piss off his dad and becoming more reclusive and bitter as time went on.

he really took his brother's death personally, believing he was a factor in it and wishing he'd been there for him more closely. if anyone so much as mentions marc to him he will be on guard and very easily angered. i think before marc died he was very charismatic, egotistical at times and driven whereas now he’s lost a lot of his energy and is more negative & aloof.

the following year was Rough™. he was no longer his dad's golden boy and the family dynamic shifted a lot with marc's death as luc ended up protecting his younger twin brothers instead of beating them for their dad's favour. he's certain he'd have been disowned had his mother not aligned herself with the kids as well.

i think their family dynamic is kinda like the cha family from sky castle if anyone has seen it !

luc eventually decided to enrol in school late, only to end up at gallagher instead. which... i mean, i think before marc died he was excited about attending blackthorne. so he’s bit ??? uncertain about the girls school.

PERSONALITY

genuinely i think it comes down to so many factors, whether he’s in a good mood, who’s speaking to him etc but neutrally he’s quite charming, happy to mess about a bit but more or less takes most stuff too seriously. since he’s not around his dad i do think he will explore a lot more and seek out adventure and fun but if he’s got a test or something due the next day then he’ll bail early since he is defo the type to never let his grades or performance be ruined

he’s quite cocky + likes to win no matter what so yes he will ruin a friendship to beat u at monopoly. second place is last place in his head.

at his best he can be confident, alluring, courteous, loyal… at his worst he's aggressive, destructive, apathetic and always says shit he doesn't mean !!!! will he apologize ?? unlikely but he'll try n make it right once he’s calmed down

thinks the best way to deal with things is with his fists, he’s so EASY to snap and start a fight n he’ll.... maybe apologise for it

i think he defo likes to pretend he’s got no problems and so reverts to a social, supportive friend every once in a while. the type to be brutally honest !!

he’s a definite know it all, thinks he’s the dog’s bollocks, gods gift etc !!!!! doesn’t believe in god but still. I kinda see him a bit jocky idk why but more brooding n isolating 70% of the time bc he’s easily pissed off but when he’s having fUNNNNN he’s ok like a solid guy at times just easily angered

very flirty, he's a major ladies man despite actually being GAY. which is a secret. sh. only two people know he’s gay and that’s his current beard girlfriend ellie cavanagh and childhood friend regine ren. more ppl can defo find out in time and i’m sure ppl have speculations ? maybe have seen him hooking up with guys or something when he thought no one was looking etc probs think he’s bi who knows!!! but for now those two are the only people he’s actually spoken to about it!!!! so if anyone else tries he will deny it as he’s very against the idea of coming out so will not discuss it ty pls.

and it’s not that he doesn’t enjoy sleeping with girls, he’ll be having a great time regardless but he just aint abt to love them like that pls understand

still, he is in a current relationship with ellie who is acting as his beard for him. they have ‘ dated ’ before and are off and on a lot, so they probably seem pretty toxic tbh since ellie n him can clash n argue and he defo still hooks up with other girls despite being in a relationship so feel free to kill him for cheating !

wanted connections !!!

going off the last point, maybe some of ellie’s friends who come at him for how he seemingly treats her !!!

i'd love for blackthorne ppl to have known his brother, he'd have been around about 22/23 and a fourth year now if he was still alive so ?? it might help luc with some closure if he could talk about him since it happened at blackthorne

ppl to know the family, some family friends would be amazing !!! i feel regardless of alliances etc their family would have stayed as neutral as possible since they're selling weapons so they want all the customers.

so people that know HIM while he was growing up would be interesting esp those expecting him to have joined blackthorne when he was supposed to 2 years ago, and obvs him probably changing from who they knew him as to a more negative version now

might put a wc for his twin bros as they potentially joined his arrival at gallagher as first years too but who knows. they’d be 18 so if anyone wants a family friend connection that is around that age, maybe they were closer to the twins than luc ??

he sleeps with a lot of girls to kinda ‘make sure’ no one knows he’s gay as he defo doesn't feel comfortable with being out. the guys that he sleeps with he'll always pin it on being too drunk to remember or he'll threaten them if they told etc ?? he's very on edge about it and would only hook up super secretly sooo if anyone’s down for that with him

and then obvs need a lot of ladies he’d wanna sleep with to keep his image

previous ex gfs ?? from prep schools !!!!!!!

some positive influences would be good

bad influences as well bc tho he is a bit of a party guy, he doesn’t drink loads and he doesn’t do drugs !!!!!!!!!!!!!! but…. I mean i bet he could be convinced now he’s away from home so

study / sparring buddies !!

i’d love someone to teach him pop culture n normality !! his childhood was training and competing with his bros so he defo doesn’t watch many movies or tv or play games etc so ? someone making him watch all the harry potters ?? binging parks and rec ?? he’d find it so dumb but who wouldnt enjoy it ??

[winchesternova-k]

Why/how do you support "Dean" when he has nearly every major trait in which people dislike "John" for? And I genuinely have no aggression towards this question! I just want to get your take on this character.

tbh i rlly hate comparisons between dean and john fvgfvf bc i don’t think it’s fair when their dynamic is one of a victim and abuser but i’ll do my best to answer this fvgfvg idk how articulate i’ll be this bc i do have adhd. ik what i mean and i understand what my point is but whether anyone else will is anyone’s guess fvgfvg

largely in the early seasons dean’s picked up john’s toxic traits as a way of coping w his abusive/neglectful behaviour. in later seasons, dean doesn’t exhibit many of these traits in an unhealthy way, and when he does (which is rare) i usually put it down to the unhealthy coping mechanisms he has (more on that below) or bad writing bc there have been several times when i feel he’s been ooc (his early treatment of jack for example). there’s multiple posts abt these instances in my liveblog tag (“emily liveblogs spn”)

a lot of the issues i have w john stem from the way he puts his vengeance in front of his kids. dean never does that. in the recent seasons, there’s multiple occasions where he actually puts jack in front of his mission. john continually puts his kids in danger, on purpose. the episode w the strega comes to mind. he used his kids as bait and takes his anger out on dean when sam nearly gets killed. he doesn’t even tell them they’re bait. dean is absolutely terrified of sam getting hurt and of disappointing his father. i can’t remember dean ever doing anything like that to anyone let alone jack or ben.

john treats his kids like soldiers and possessions instead of y’know kids. he gives them “orders”. like parents obviously tell their kids what to do but this is whole different level tbh. they blame themselves when things go wrong bc “they didn’t follow orders”. there’s “wow maybe dad knew better and i should listen next time” and then there’s “dad gave me an order and things went wrong bc i ‘disobeyed’. i’m a bad person”. dean and sam experience the latter. on top of that when they disobey john gets rlly angry bc they’re not under his control. this is a classic abuser move and one that my abusers have used on me. dean doesn’t do this w anyone let alone any of the kids he’s been in charge of, including sam.

i mean dean straight up blames himself when they’re used as bait by demons to get to john in one episode. that’s not a reaction that comes from a healthy relationship. jack’s scared sometimes of disappointing his dads (and i think on one occasion of making dean angry), but dean’s v quick to reassure him that even if he’s done smth wrong they still care abt him. john never does that. and like i said, any negative thing resembling john w dean & jack’s dynamic i usually chalk up to bad writing bc parts of it are v inconsistent between eps and dean never acted this way before w ben. and that aside dean has no history of acting like john in those respects any other time.

when sam and dean need help, john doesn’t give it. he just lets them handle it alone, even when they think it could get them hurt, unless it could help w his overall vengeance. whenever someone needs dean’s help, he’s there. i’m rewatching s1 atm (coming straight off the back of not watching any spn for abt idk 3ish yrs, and then starting from last 2 eps of s12 to the most recent ep), and a major difference between dean and john is how they r towards sam. when sam wants to leave, john shouts at him and guilts him into staying and even disowns him. dean is clearly upset and short w him but he tries to be supportive. he doesn’t know what to say and ultimately he’s honest abt how he feels but he doesn’t want to make things hard for sam or hurt him or drive him away like john. he doesn’t want to control sam like john does. he just wants his brother around, but accepts that sam wants things to be different. ultimately i think if sam had gone back to college he would’ve accepted it and gotten used to a more functional relationship. that’s not to say that the winchester brothers relationship is healthy in early seasons bc it’s not. their relationship formed when they were being abused/neglected and dean literally raised sam, and he doesn’t rlly know how to get along w/o sam which is rlly rlly toxic. but it improves over the yrs bc neither of them want to keep living in that unhealthy cycle

w ben, his parenting model w him is completely different to john’s. he tries to keep him out of danger to the point of trying to keep him from knowing the truth until he absolutely has to. when he does the wrong thing by ben (which i’ll admit like john, is usually out of fear) he apologises and tries to make sure he doesn’t do it again. john never does either of these things.

idk if ur talking abt his drinking, etc.? if that’s (partly) what this is abt, they’re unhealthy coping mechanisms that dean has developed bc he doesn’t know how else to deal. he doesn’t do therapy and the influential figures in his life coped this way (bobby, john, etc.) and he would’ve copied it.

mostly i think john doesn’t want to improve. dean does. dean doesn’t want to hurt the ppl he loves and when he does he apologises, even tho it takes a while. that last part is smth i relate to as an abuse survivor, bc abuse makes it hard to admit when ur wrong bc it will be used against u, smth we know for a fact john did w both sam and dean. john is shown to care less abt hurting ppl he cares abt than whatever he’s chasing and i think he apologises like once? in the entire show. i mean dean even knows when he’s being possessed by a demon bc john’s nice to him and tells him he’s proud. sam even says he feels like nothing he ever does is good enough bc of john (smth i also experience due to abuse and neglect). dean’s never afraid to tell jack or ben when he’s proud of them.

john’s happy to hurt whoever he has to to achieve his mission and his revenge, even hurt or kill his kids. he doesn’t WANT to hurt them, but again the strega ep shows that the mission comes first. dean shows how different he is when he refuses to kill jack in the s14 finale. he’s angry and he wants revenge but he knows hurting jack is wrong. dean often goes headfirst into danger to protect others w little thought for his own safety. that’s partially a reaction to john’s treatment of him, but john used to drag his kids into that danger w him. ik sometimes when theyre older john tries to keep them away from it, but that’s when they’re old enough to choose (and he’s still not letting them). but when they were dependent on him, he straight up did not care whether they were in danger or not. not when his mission was at stake. when they’re older and can keep themselves out of danger, that’s when and only when he tries to keep them out of danger. it’s a control thing. john wants them under his thumb and to only do what he wants. jack is usually kept out of the situation unless it’s necessary, and ben was entirely except for one instance where it would’ve been more dangerous to keep him out of it. dean parents jack and ben but he doesn’t try to control them.

ig my main thoughts r that dean’s actions r that of an abuse survivor and developed to survive the situation whereas john’s r that of an abuser. dean’s negative actions usually r only intended to hurt himself whereas john’s r intended to hurt everyone. all up i think their traits seem similar on the surface, but deeper down dean’s v different to john. his negative traits tend to be self destructive rather than just destructive. it’s more ig that dean’s actions r different to john’s? idk if that makes sense fvgfvg but i think that dean treats ppl v differently to john. he tries not to hurt ppl but john doesn’t rlly seem to give a shit if he hurts ppl or not.

tldr; i don’t rlly think dean’s toxic traits are similar to john any further than on a superficial level. any time i’ve seen that (esp in recent seasons) has been a result of bad or inconsistent writing. dean’s also a better dad than john. john shows signs found in abusers and ones i saw in my own abusers; dean doesn’t.

[nothing1995]

In the words of the prophet khalid, nothing gets better than this..

I had my first 10 minute spot tonight and then another 5 at a different place and when I woke up this morning on like 5 hours interrupted sleep I didn’t think it was gonna go well. Also I was doing all new material (done once before in front of a... not an audience but unsuspecting victims in the pub who were not expecting to listen to comedy) and when u do new shit you’re so nervous. And this was nerves about . Basically a recounting of my mental breakdown. And I’ve never done 10 mins before.

the guy before me wasn’t good, the audience was huge which made me way more nervous before, hsusally open mics it’s you, 6 other comics and like 3 audience members. This was like 30 acc real people . And it went so fucking good. I have 9.5 mins of actual fucking stand up I’ve done. I’ve never felt that high. It went well, there were joaks in it, there was some pathos, I slowed down I delivered I had fucking confidence in my material. I came off so high and got complimented like crazy. I wasn’t gonna go to the other mic but eventually did and that was only 5 mins but I was already confidentZ and that mic went just as good if not better (tho I did miss some key fun bits because a comic had bought me a drink to apologise for getting the crowd cold before I went on at the first venue lol.. didn’t matter tho I slayed bigch) and I killed it I just killed it. Comics came up after like that was really good really really good one was like. This felt more than just jokes. And Noah fence but it feels more than joaks it feels like. A fucking Ed fringe show and I’m NOT afraid to say it. I got complimented like crazy the audience loved it and there’s so much room for improvement and adding jokes and taking and tweaking stuff and just. Idk. Last Tuesday I had probs the worst bomb so far and this Tuesday I don’t think I’ve ever been higher. And I knew it’d be like this last tues which is just why I had to work harder . But u need to have faith in that it’ll happen and so many ppl don’t . Also a girl after who Appaz bombed in first half tho I wasn’t there for that part (BUSY SLAYING ANOTHER MIC BITH) was saying how she wanted to give up and esp being a girl felt like she was letting the side down etc and I just reassured her and just !!! Idk !!! Motivated her she gave me a lift to me bus stop and at the end was like uve made me feel so much better and like. I’m so happy I’m just so happy I have another mic tomorrow then thurs then fri lmfao it’s gonna be a wild one but I’m so excited . I’m just so fucking happy I could cry

[tepid-tea]

Hello Drama; its been a while..

I don’t think I’ve posted personal drama in a while but I feel like I need to get this off my chest. Cause this didn’t just effect me but it has pretty much torn up my little group of friends which was not the intent.

Heres some background before we start…

Emerald City Comic Con for those who have followed my little slice of tumblr knows is a yearly nerd pilgrimage my friends and I do every year. We all arrange rides and drive down from Vancouver, BC to Seattle, WA for a 4-5 day where we eat, drink and buy way too much stuff at the convention.  We’ve all gone pretty much as a group for the last… shit 4 or five years? Possibly more? Now last year I spent waaaay to much money as the Canadian Dollar was in the tank ( still is pretty much lol)  and I went a little over board. Now Hotel prices have steadily been going up  etc etc so even without the spending I was already over budget. Now early on this year I had decided that I wasn’t going to go to ECCC in 2018 due to how much hotel and such costs. The tickets themselves aren’t so bad but if you’re not a local in Seattle or don’t have a friends couch to sleep on we’re talking close to $1000 CAD for 4 nights in a hotel even with the Convention discount.  That includes parking but still…. Yikes right? I went to Disneyland (flight & Hotel) for only like $30 more than that. That’ $1000 doesn’t even include my convention pass! So needless to say I wasn’t going since my family is planning on doing like  a week plus in Disneyland next summer so that was what I was going to save up for instead. It bummed me out because ALL of my friends were going to this (except maybe one but we will get to that shortly) and it was my first time not going to be able to join them. But it was my decision and I was going to stick with it. Now fast forward too maybe a week or so ago right before the tickets went on sale everyone was excited and stuff and I was pretty much over it at this point when  my friend who hadn’t planned on going either cause he kept saying how much it sucked, (we’ll call him R) texted me and asked if I wanted to just go for the Saturday. Now a part of me was unsure because we would have to get up at the crack ass of dawn to drive the 2 and a half hours to Seattle, find expensive Downtown parking and get our passes, walk around all day only to have to drive the 3 and a half ours back. Now my friend R doesn’t drive. Doesn’t know how; takes transit or bums rides from our friends who drive all the time.  So I would have to do all of this driving.  I’m unsure but he ramps it and says he’ll split gas and parking so without really thinking it through ( probably out of desperation of wanting to go even at a small scale) I agree. Everyone I tell that we’re going for just the day say I’m fucking looney cause I’m pretty much doing all the work here.  It’s not like if I get tired I can trade off with someone to drive. 2 and a half hours isn’t really long but… I mean when you’re that tired it can feel like a super long time. Also I’d have to drive him home, which he lives like a half an hour the opposite direction of my house so that’s adding another hour onto my drive time.  But I’m like cool sure. Then we never talk about it again. Until yesterday morning. 

My friend K texts me and says she’s accidentally ordered 1 too many Vendor passes. She got her table this year in Artist alley and wanted to know if I could come with and help her and her boyfriend ( who happens to be my best friend) run her booth. Now I’ve helped run her booth for conventions off and on for the past couple years. At Local ones and for the three years at ECCC ( except 2017’s convention, she didn’t get chosen and thus didn’t come with us) so I’ve got experience in how she likes to run shit. At first I tell her no, I’m doing the one day thing and I can’t afford the hotel alone plus everything's probably all booked by now even if I could find someone.  But then she says to ask our friend J as she and like 3 of our other friends are sharing a room ( Like every year) and could possible have space for me too? 

 She said to let her know by Friday so if I don’t go she can try and e-mail the convention ppl to try and get a refund ( tickets like $125 usd) because she can’t sell it like a normal ticket. So I go to work and not really think about it again till like later in the evening. I’m having dinner with C ( K’s bf and my best friend ANNND R’s best friend)  and the ticket offer comes up during our conversation. He says to give our friend J a text about their hotel situation, prices and what not because if it’s cheap, why not? He knew I was pretty bummed about not going the full weekend and wasn’t too stoked about driving so much ( he wasn’t too happy about it on my behalf it seemed either. he’s an overprotective puppy). So I ask J and their  5th person they were going to have in their room bailed and they had space. I’d get a blow up mattress and  it would be $150 USD for  3 nights for my half of the hotel ( roughly as taxes/hotel parking etc). So thats $275.00 USD  AND they offered to drive me there and back, provide the air mattress etc.  I tell C and its like how can you say no to that? He says do it. Now first thing I worry is how R is going to take it. He gets upset easy and yeah I’m being kind of a dick on bailing on him.  The Con is in 4 months as in that time we could figure out a way for him to either get there without me driving him or help him sell the tickets. However even without committing to it 100% at the time I feel bad, I hate bailing on people like that.  

So this morning I send this huge text to R explaining the situation and apologise for the whole thing but offer to help him work out how to either sell them or figure a way there and back.  R loses his absolute shit, says I’m the worst friend ever. Says this is the worst possible thing I could ever do to him and this is basically ending our friendship.  I then ask him how could something like this be a friendship ender  ( I’ve forgiven him him for FAR worse offences on shit he’s pulled on me but THAT'S a whole other traumatizing thing that we don’t talk about anymore because it almost gives me a panic attack thinking of it) then offer again to help make other arrangements for him to either come along or sell the tickets. He then accuses me of going behind his back and plotting with our other friends to screw him over ( not true like wtf?) then proceeds to block my phone number and blocks me on all social media before we can work anything out. ( there are 6 texts in total, two from me and the rest are him freaking at me) In the end he ends up blocking 5 different friends of ours ( though he’s re-added K I later find out) and proceeds to shit talk me on FB where I can’t see and blocks anyone who tries to stick up for me ( Thus the 4 friends still blocked). I mean I understand he’s upset but we are in our mid 30’s for fuck sakes! We’re fucking adults! Why can’t we have a fucking adult conversation and work something out? I admit it was shitty to bail on him however I offered to help him find another solution to get there, to help sell them both and even offer to just straight pay for my half to compensate. However none of these offers were taken because he didn’t get his own way and would rather flip his shit. 

Needless to say my whole day was fucked.  I felt horrible but the more nasty shit he posted on FB that I got told about and shit he’s been pulling on everyone else, I started to feel less bad for the whole thing. There was no grand plot to screw him over; I simply took advantage of an opportunity only for it to fuck everything up.  I tried to keep it just between the two of us to keep damage to a minimum cause we share best friends and it's not fair to drag C into the middle of this or any of our other friends for that matter but he insisted on it. So about an hour after I started this text rant K texted and asked if she could call me; which of course I say yes.  After an hour and a half talk  I go over my side on what's happened and what we can do to fix it and keep C out of it.  K and I both love C ( in very different ways mind you LOL) and her and I are going to do our hardest to keep him out of it.  Her and I have both agreed not to talk about the situation in front of him and try to keep the others from doing so as well ( god knows what R has sent him).  C doesn’t take conflict really well (Neither does myself and K to be honest but C more so) and I told K I really don’t want C to be dragged into it…. 

Like fuck I didn’t want anyone to get dragged into it but R is a drama queen and I’m the villain.

SO YA! Fuck my life!

Anyone want to go see the New Star Wars Movie with me? Cause R is selling off my first showing ticket for that. Anyone want to see a movie with a shitty villainous person?

[amandabe11man]

John and Scott for the ask meme thing?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)THIS WOULD’VE BEEN POSTED EARLIER BUT I HAD TO RESTART THE BROWSER AND THE N  REWRITE EVERYTHING SO–

who is more likely to hurt the other?john’s more likely to hurt scott, i guess? involuntarily, but stillwho is emotionally stronger?aLSO john. he’s seen so much shit that it doesn’t even faze him anymore (unless there’s a possibility that he himself might be in danger– that’s usually where he begins to panic)who is physically stronger?john again,,. i mean sure, scott is obvs in better shape but other than that he is NOT strong, omfgwho is more likely to break a bone? scott, who somehow manages to be fit and frail at the same timewho knows best what to say to upset the other? in a way, both of them, but also– none of them?? lemme try to explain; like, they fight basically all of the time, so you’d think they would know how to specifically get under the other’s skin by now, except it’s not that sophisticated. i mean, most of the time they just throw regular insults at each other (that they’ve heard a 1000 times already)also, you don’t have to know too much about scott to make him upset, tbh. just ask the wrong question (or ANY kind of question) and he’ll be pissed right away for no reason.it takes a little more to make john angry, though. either he loses his cool when he’s in a bad situation or when scott’s just being too annoying for too longwho is most likely to apologise first after an argument? ideally, none of them would, but john’s usually the one who caves first. not always because he thinks he was in the wrong, but so that they can just move on instead of acting like children about itwho treats who’s wounds more often? neither of them get hurt all that often, and if john does, he prefers to just treat them himself (cause i mean, given his position in the company, he’s p used to it) – scott is, however, a big baby about all of this, so if he ever got a wound, john would have to treat it for him (he’d probably faint if he looked at the injury even, lmao)who is in constant need of comfort? both of them, in their own ways? john doesn’t show it often, but sometimes he’ll think a little too hard about life, his ex-wife, etc. and– yeah. he refuses to tell scott abt it if he’s feeling that way, thoughso yeah, scott’s the one who shows his feelings more (even though his feelings are mostly just anger), so when he’s feeling down for whatever reason, it is nOT pretty (john doesn’t mind comforting him though cause that gives him something else to focus on than his own thoughts, so it’s a win-win)who gets more jealous? neither of them, i think? they might not be, like– couple of the year, but when it comes down to it, they trust each other not to do anything stupid tbh? (secretly they both low-key think the other’s too stupid to attract that kind of attention from others anyway)who’s most likely to walk out on the other? scott, omg. running from conflict in all its forms is what he does best (there’s a whole lot of door-slamming too obvs)who will propose? none of them, cause even when they come to the point where they actually refer to themselves as a couple, they’re both too proud/scared to let others (ANYONE) know about it :/who has the most difficult parents?well, john’s parents are dead, but they would probably be p chill; a little surprised that john’s bisexual maybe, but that’s about it?and scott’s parents rly aren’t difficult tbh. they would be really supportive if he would just let them in already, gdiwho initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? again, none of them. i mean, they go out together, but there are NO public displays of affection whatsoever, omfg (unless they’re drunk or something)who comes up for the other all the time? i’m– not sure what this question means?? hahawho hogs the blankets? SCOTT (john may or may not push him out of bed bc of it sometimes)who gets more sad? john, probably? like– he gets sad in the more traditional sense of the word. scott gets sad too ofc, but when that happens it’s so intense that it’s more than just sadness at that point, lolwho is better at cheering the other up? john’s better at cheering scott up, i think. he’s generally more chill and has better social skills, imowho’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?scott tbh, mostly when he’s had a bit too much to drink, but once in a blue moon, he can get genuinely happy without any alcohol too (it’s reALLY fuckin surreal, but john lives for those moments tbh)who is more streetwise?uh, i think john comes the closest here. both him and scott have had generally easy lives, but since john has been out in the field wiping people out and whatnot, he’s not as sheltered as scottwho is more wise?i’m not sure ppl should go to him for life advice but i think john qualifies a bit at leastwho’s the shyest? none of them are shy exactly, they just get flustered during certain situations. for example, john canNOT speak in front of a crowd he’s just outwho boasts about the other more? neither, tbh. after all, they’ve never made their relationship public (tho tbh most ppl suspect it anyway)who sits on who’s lap? scott sits on john’s lap a lot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[datingadviceonreddit]

I must warn you this is long but I really need someone to read it and understand.The first thing I’ll say I know I messed up. In a nutshell: I saw this guy let’s call him M, around and we lived in the same building at uni, however never talked to him until about 10 days ago. Before that we’d definitely noticed each other around if you know what I mean. I thought he was maybe shy or smt when he saw me but otherwise a pretty loud person. We hung out alike every other day after we met and things escalated. One night we made out and then a few nights later (last night) we had sex. He stayed the night and we had sex again in the morning.I’d told him it was my first time and he was cautious and careful and all of that. He asked me like a million times if I was sure and I said yes. There was a bit of dithering and we were both indecisive but in the end we didn’t use protection (I sorted that with the pill), but after he left I felt really down and heavy and numb - it wasn’t as good as I’d imagined although it wasn’t bad.One thing that really killed the mood ( even though tbh I was already feeling doubtful) was just before he left, he was like you’re gonna take the pill right and I was like Ofc ( I mean he had a right to ask but it felt really clinical) And then he was like and also I don’t want to tell anyone, and you’re not going to tell anyone right and I was like sure. He specifically asked me not to tell his best friend ( let’s call him L) here who I know because of gossip. Of course it was a red flag so i told my best friends and one of my sisters everything that had happened.The first thing I assumed was he was seeing someone else, which is why he kept us a secret. It’s confusing because two days after we met He invited me for drinks with his guy friends and wtv. And it was pretty obvious he liked me even though it was subtle. And again two days later invited me to this party with some more friends and I went. And that was the night we first kissed. In our Accommodation building there’s a huge divide between post graduates and undergraduate (he’s a postgrad). So it was obvious to all his post grad friends that I was an undergrad and I’d seen most of them before. So it was more as if he wanted to hide the fact that we did anything together rather than the fact that he liked me. Or maybe he didn’t think that through at all and that’s just how it happened.So again last night M invited me to hang out in his kitchen with two friends. His best friend L definitely knew by this point that he liked me, although he never knew about the kiss or anything. But M had been more and more obvious about teasing me and calling me beautiful in front of L, even the night of the party.I knew it wasn’t going to be a relationship or wtv because M is leaving the country and going back home at the end of his course. And in between that we both have exams. So tbh even though I liked him I didn’t expect much of it at all. I never thought I would even kiss him and tbh I really didn’t think anything through until after the sex.Even so we did have serious conversations and he texted every day, and it was obvious we enjoyed each other’s company. He kept trying to play the piano so I could sing for him and We did actually do that once. TBH I can’t tell if he was just trying his luck to see if we would have sex and it worked. Most of the time he wasn’t flirting- in my previous post I wrote about how I couldn’t tell what he wanted. Sometimes he would act like an older brother or something. Sometimes he would say I was beautiful and stuff like that. He said I made him nervous and I think that would align to how I noticed him looking at me before we ever spoke. I just assumed he was shy or maybe had a crush. But the way he probed me today was as if he thought I liked him before we met which I don’t even know anymore. He definitely got my attention that’s all I could say.So back to this morning. After a few hours I texted him like look it was fun but I’m not really ready for this and tbh I wasn’t ready and I think it’s unhealthy to be sneaking around and it’s a bad time for both of us, so this should probably stop.And he answered you’re probably right I didn’t seem that relaxed about it. And then I asked him if he was still seeing someone and he explained they broke up 8 months ago but he still has feelings every now and then (and probably wants her back) which I guess partly explains his sketchy behaviour. I guess the other part was him feeling guilty about taking my virginity so casually. And he suggested we talk in person because he wanted to explain.So we ended up talking for two hours. And he essentially said I shouldn’t regret it and he’s sorry he should have thought about it. I also apologised bc I kind of messed up too. And he asked st what point did I regret it, seeing as we did it three times. And to be honest I still can’t answer that but it was definitely the “don’t tell anyone” which dampened the mood. And to side track a little , for months I would catch him staring at me and look away looking guilty. So I’m s little confused what his guilt is really about. I know for sure he’s not in an actual relationship because I see so much of him and it would have come up, so he’s being honest there. I guess he’s confused about his feelings.He asked me if it was the case that when we first met I’d imagined a future with him or something more, or whether I’d had a crush on him for longer, and tbh I don’t know. Like I would see him occasionally but there were plenty other guys who were in exactly the same situation with me. I knew it wasn’t going to be a relationship. I knew he was a postgrad. And before we talked for the first time I would only really think about him when I saw him and I’d only see him staring at me. That was how I noticed him in the first place. There were times I did feel like he was trying to get my attention by staring and other times he looked like he was caught in the act. I never understood that- what does that even mean?And I guess I looked pretty numb snd dead when we were talking and he said it was heart breaking and tried to hug me and touch my face and whatever. It wasn’t sexual. And he asked what went wrong - was it that it was way too soon anyway or the fact that it was my first time, and whether I would still have been ok hanging out with him if we hadn’t had sex and left it at the kissing. He really did try to get answers out of me and I eventually explained I guess what made me feel off was that it was such s big deal for me and seemed like meant nothing to him. And he was like of course it doesn’t mean nothing otherwise he wouldn’t be here. Which I think is a decent point. And I’d told him it was all fine and I’d get over it which of course is true. But he kept asking what can I do to make you feel better? And asked me to text him and talk to him. I don’t know if I can do that.He also asked who I’d been with before in my life him and why I hadn’t had sex with them- and I answered honestly again, I just had trust issues and was too nervous and didn’t feel ready. And he also made me realise (and tell him) that one of the biggest things which was making me feel so confused was why I had sex so soon with him even though I’d been in 6 and 8 month relationships before hand without going all the way to sex. He also asked why I had sex st all with him and honestly I don’t know I just told him I wasn’t thinking and I liked him in the moment.He also spent probably 15 mins asking me about the guys I’ve kissed since college started. He was the fourth and I hadn’t done more than kiss the others. He started looking them up on Facebook and got me to tell him all bout them apart from one. I said he was nosy but he said I only care because it’s you.I just find that I suddenly care now so much and I don’t know what I care about. I don’t think I ever believed in love or genuine commitment and relationships. I’m very skeptical anyway and have a shitty family and had a shitty childhood in between abusive home and a suffocating catholic boarding school so honestly I assume most people don’t care so I really don’t expect much of anyone especially guys. It wasn’t even the sex itself which bothered me. I’m just so confused. I’m not even sad so to speak I didn’t cry or anything. I just feel really empty and heavy.I’d told him that I’d told my close friends anyway (only about 5 ppl). And he’d said that wasn’t what he’d meant , not that I couldn’t tell anyone at all just don’t tell everyone and start a rumour. He’d said he’d been in a similar situation with his ex 4 years ago when he was about my age, they’d only kissed then she suddenly didn’t want to talk to him and there were rumours. Not sure how much I buy that as an explanation to be honest, I still think he’s worried about being judged for taking my virginity without knowing me. Which as I said does make sense.He said he’d wondered if I was religious and that was why I wasn’t comfortable, but I explained I personally wasn’t religious but yeah he might be right maybe it was in the back of my mind that my parents would kill me.He also asked what everyone thought of him and the situation. and I tried not to tell him but he begged me to say and I just said the truth. They said he was trash, bin him, call the swat team and I should get rid of him etc etc. Sort of funny threats - I love my friends. And then he was like great so 5 people hate me, why have they come to that conclusion, and I just explained it was probably the “don’t tell anyone” because that’s shady and I think it was shady too. I felt bad but that was the truth.At least it didn’t end with an argument and we still hugged and stuff. But talking to him actually confused me more. Pls someone help*tl;dr had sex with my crush last night. We both got lost in the moment and this morning when he left I realised I really wasn’t ready. I texted him I wanted it to be over, but he wanted to talk. So we did and now I feel even worse because he made me realise it’s so complicated * via /r/dating_advice